i knew you'd leave someday but it didn't have to be so soon

i see none of those times mattered to you. staying up all night watching the starts on that old swingset you had in your backyard. it always squeaked. the neighbors got pissed. that was fun.

our best sport was ruining others lives, because ours weren't good enough. i see you still enjoy doing that.

you told me you'd never do drugs like those kids down the street did. that was a lie; you're insane now.

we were misunderstood because we didn't let anyone get to know us. it wasnt the best feeling but it made me feel closer to you. we WERE close. we knew everything.

i lied to all of my friends because of you. it hurts, now. really.

my parents didn't know what to think of me and you. thats why i couldn't see you. and you couldn't see me. but we saw eachother anyway.

and that old man we always laughed at because he sat alone on that broken couch on his porch, yelling at us. he never moved from there in the day. we never knew what he did at night.

i loved you. really. and i think thats all i ever knew. loving you. we were rulers of that abandoned shed on that hill with all the daffodils. and everything was whole with our two best friends.

we never acted like we were in love but everyone said when we did they knew it was true. just the way you could always make me laugh just by saying the littlest things. we laughed together in walmart at that girl in the ad because she looked like that person we knew way back when.

and you liked me even though i wasn't the best looking or the smartest.

i didn't think we'd last forever but i didnt think you'd leave me the way you did.

and this is why i am sad.

life isnt going to change if you dont let it.

you need to let go of the old, and let the new in.

yes, it is hard. and yes, it may hurt.

but if you keep it close it may ruin you.

you have your memories to keep you going.

and thats when i know im going mad.

the years are shorter than days

and the leaves always grow back.

although i am never wrong,

i am not always right.

home again.

one foot after another, the floorboards creaking after everystep. i tried to stay silent and unnoticable, but that would not of worked with the constant sqeak. 

when i reached the bedroom, i sighed in relief. coming home late is never a good thing. 

i shut the door lightly and tip toed to the bed, throwing off my shoes when i sat down. 

i was wasted, dizzy, and tired. my mind was jumbled. 

i placed my head on my pillow and sighed, noticing the window was not open. 

closed window equals no sleep. no sleep equals horrible hangover.

i groaned as i stood up once again, every bone in my body popping. 

again, one foot after the other. blackness surrounding me.

it was a short walk to the window. i grasped the handle and pulled it up, it making a sqeaking noise. i groaned again, the sound was too loud.

once more, one foot after the other back to the bed. i laid down, my head aching. 

i closed my eyes.

iwillneverforget

What did I want to say? My mind was jumbled. Words surrounded me, making it hard to choose the right ones. I saw things that weren't there, just visions and images my eyes invented to scare me. 

I tumbled over to the window, as my weak arms pulled it open. I took a deep breath as the sweat from my forehead evaporated into the cold, snowy air. 

What was wrong with me? Was I going insane? Nothing seemed fair.

Snowflakes fumbled onto my eyelashes, melting at the first touch. 

Melting. Thats what I felt like doing. Falling...

Darkness filled my vision when I hit the ground. No one could hear my quiet screams, only my own ears.

Tears drowned my screaming, and everything came back. 

I gasped for the air that didn't seem to be there. Two attempts is what it took to get up and back to my window. 

Breathing was harder than it should of been.

by savanna

glad we didn't get stuck with friends who actually hate us

glad we didn't get pushed out and ignored out on the streets

because we learned early 

no one likes friends

death

we had one more night together. one more time to show eachother we cared. 

she died right in my arms. slowly and carefully, graciously and calm. it was beautiful, the most amazing thing i had even seen.

i cried. tears of happiness, and tears of sorrow. for the good memories and the bad. moments of complete joy. moments of complete and utter sadness. 

i was so greatful to have her in my life, if only for 2 years.